6 Steps That Will Help You Calmly Resolve Conflicts

Do you often find yourself in the middle of a conflict that doesn’t interest you? Every time you are in the middle of a conflict, do you get stuck and don’t know how to handle the situation? We’ve all been through this. If there is one thing that is constant in life, it is change, and this always generates some kind of conflict.

But don’t worry, here you will find some tips to learn how to deal with these situations. We will help you to prevent problem people from throwing you out of balance.

Why do conflicts arise?

The first thing you need to keep in mind is that people who start conflict are often dissatisfied with some aspect of their life.  They are the ones who feel little heard or misunderstood and look for ways to make themselves heard. It may seem silly to you, but you shouldn’t underestimate situations until you know all the arguments.

Conflicts can also arise from the need to demonstrate power.  A boss with low self-esteem or a colleague who sees you developing with intelligence and elegance. These people want to demonstrate that they are the ones who are worth it, that they have the power and believe they have authority over you. Be very calm. They just want you to pay attention to them.

Steps to resolve conflicts

To resolve these conflicts, you need to be calm. Learn to listen, value and understand each other. Here are tips for important things to do when conflict is unavoidable.

1. Listen carefully

Always remain calm and remain silent. It’s important that the other person is heard, that’s why he’s making such a fuss. If you listen to her calmly and carefully, she alone will begin to lower her voice. Speak only when there is some calm. If she asks you why you’re not talking, just say you’re listening.

2. Don’t interrupt

Let him speak freely and express his full justification for the conflict and his anger. You must preserve the benefit of the doubt; maybe she’s right and you’re talking too early.  Your interlocutor wants to be heard, to demonstrate his power. Allow it. There are people who don’t find the channels to assert themselves and feel overshadowed, that’s why they scream.

3. Put yourself in your shoes

Think about why you are this way. Maybe your job is too stressful, or your life isn’t going the way you’d like. Think about how you would feel if you were like this. Understanding your interlocutor will help you understand the situation and resolve it better. Don’t lose your cool.

4. Restate what your interlocutor says

When you can speak, say what you understand of what he explained to you. “What you mean is…” “Yes, I clearly understand what you mean…” this way he will make sure you are listening to him and paying full attention. Often that’s all they need.  You will be able to express your opinion after you reach an agreement on what the other says.

5. Admit you’re wrong, if that’s the case.

Admitting that you made a mistake in front of others demonstrates how self-assured you are. Few can do it, but you should try. If that’s the situation, you’ll quickly end the conflict and raise others’ opinion of you. If you’re not sure you made a mistake, just say it. “You know, maybe you’re right. Can we review this together?” If you’re not completely sure, don’t expose your arguments. This will demonstrate that you are a trustworthy person.

6. Look at the other person’s best side

If you know something about your interlocutor’s personal life, something he likes to do or something cool related to him, try to imagine him doing it. Every time you think about it, relate it to that activity.  Then you will be able to speak with that other face, because you will address it harmoniously and joyfully.  Try not to be aware of your most violent face, so you can always start a conversation on good terms.

If you can remember these steps when starting a conflict, you will surely resolve it efficiently. You will close them elegantly and be able to optimize your time much more effectively.

Image courtesy of pogonici