I Accept That You Protect Me, But Not That You Control Me

In intimate relationships, jealousy sometimes arises that causes our partners to control us, or our partners to control us. But we often confuse this control with protection.

“If he controls me it’s because he worries about me”, “if he’s jealous it’s because I’m important to him”, “if he gets angry it’s because he has reasons”. Make no mistake, you are not always right. Jealousy is not love, control is not protection.

As the person who controls has more feelings for you, he will control you more and more. The feeling is to know where you are at every moment, if she could cling to you and not take a second apart, she would. This is scary, and as a matter of fact, it’s supposed to be. Today I accept that you protect me, but I won’t accept that you control me. Think that freedom is much more valuable than a relationship that deprives us of it.

Control is a way of expressing the insecurity we have in ourselves. We cannot control our partner, because far from what we might think, he is free! We believe that, for the simple fact that we are in a relationship and we have to comply with certain “norms”, such as not being unfaithful for example, we must deprive our partner of freedom.

Being in a relationship does not mean that our wings are cut off. We must continue to pursue our dreams. If you want to move or visit another country, you must do this! Don’t miss out on living your life simply because you are in a relationship. Don’t let them clip your wings, because if they do, you won’t be happy.

They say that loving someone makes us very happy and silly, but if the relationship has the hidden side of deprivation of freedom and control, then how can we be happy? At times you may think you’re wrong, that your partner isn’t really controlling you, that you’re making a big splash. Watch out, the person controlling you makes you think you’re wrong, so open your eyes!

You can’t allow yourself not to be free, what about your dreams? Your life? Be free and don’t let anything control you. This isn’t love, keep that in mind. Love is something else, something in which your freedom and your happiness come first.

When you find out, there will be no escape

Knowing whether or not they are controlling us may be relatively easy if we look at the situation from the outside, but it is much more difficult if we are involved, where we find ourselves immersed in our feelings.

Therefore, we must learn to read the way a person who controls acts,  who may not even be an intimate partner. Sometimes there are friendships or family members who want to control us. Of course, this is often much more noticeable and more common in love relationships than in the rest of relationships.

• They want to do a lot in a short time, they want to be together for as long as possible. This may be bearable at first, but it can suffocate after a while.

• Rationality has no place, everything is fabulous and wonderful, so you don’t want to waste time. As the person pays attention to you and takes care of you, they feel entitled to your life.
• The person is seductive, but it is a seduction that has ulterior motives. She wants to make you always happy so you don’t want to leave her side. Wants you just for her. Are you from there. This is where possessiveness begins.
• It makes you feel special, says that you are the best that ever happened to you, that you are unique and irreplaceable in the world. With this, the person in control feels entitled to decide that his life is his.

Many times you won’t believe what happens is right. Everything happens silently, because with these attitudes you are almost signing a “contract” in which you give your life to the controller. Think carefully about the person you have by your side and don’t let them absorb you, control you. Make sure you feel safe with her, special, but beware! In the long run, all of this can show a controlling personality that won’t make you happy, quite the opposite.

Protect your freedom, protect your wings. Nobody has the right to cut them down, nobody has the right to control your life. Because it is yours and you are the only one who must manage it and live it with happiness, fulfilling all your dreams and eliminating the barriers you may encounter.