How To Keep Anger Under Control?

Anger is a normal and healthy emotion, but when it gets out of hand, the consequences for your personal relationships, health, and mood can be very harmful.

Being aware of the reasons you are upset and learning to work with some tools to keep your anger under control are two key elements in having a more peaceful life and not negatively influencing others.

understand anger

The emotion of anger is neither good nor bad. It’s okay to feel angry if you’ve been mistreated or treated unfairly. The feeling is not the issue, it is what you do with it. Anger becomes a problem when you hurt others with your reaction.

Strong-willed people often need to express themselves and get that anger out, and that affects whoever is there at the time. But it is possible to learn to express emotions without harming others. This will not only make you feel better, it will also make you able to satisfy your needs.

Mastering the art of anger management takes work, but with practice it can be done. And the payoff can be huge. Learning to control anger and express it properly can help you build better relationships, reach your goals, and lead a more satisfying and healthier life.

keep anger under control

Step #1 – Understand what’s really behind your anger

If you feel out of control, you need to identify the reasons. Often, anger issues are a consequence of what you learned as a child, and you react like those around you did, because you have assimilated that anger should be expressed in this way (yelling at others, throwing things, punching, slamming doors, yelling, etc.). In this sense, traumatic events and high levels of stress can make you more susceptible to anger.

Usually, behind the anger, there are other hidden feelings. When you feel that she dominates you, reflect and understand if you are truly upset or if you are simply offended to mask other feelings, such as shame, insecurity, pain, or vulnerability.

As an adult, you may have difficulty recognizing feelings other than anger, especially if you grew up in environments where expressing your own feelings was somewhat disapproved of.

Step #2 – Be aware of the warning signs and factors that trigger your anger

Before you explode as a prey to anger, there are physical warning signs in your body. Anger is a normal physical response. Being aware of the very signs that your temper is starting to boil allows you to take steps to control your anger before it gets out of hand.

To do this, pay attention to how anger manifests in your body. They can be the following manifestations:

– Knot in stomach
– Clenching hands or jaw
– Panting
– Headaches
– Restlessness or needing to walk
– Trouble concentrating
– Heart throbbing
– Tension in shoulders

Step #3 – Learn Ways to “Cool Down” Anger

Once you learn to recognize the warning signs of anger, you can act quickly to deal with it before things get out of hand. There are many techniques that can help to cool down and keep anger under control.

– Focus on the physical sensations of anger. Tuning in to how your body feels when you are angry decreases the emotional intensity of the anger.

– Breathe deeply several times. Deep, slow breathing helps to release tension. The key is to breathe deeply from your abdomen, inhaling as much air as possible.

– Move yourself. A walk helps to release accumulated energy so that you can approach the situation with a cooler head.

– Use your senses. Enjoy the relaxing power of your senses: listen to music, visualize a place that helps you relax, etc.

– Stretch or massage areas of tension. Move your shoulders, massage your scalp… The key is to relax the areas physically affected by tension.

– Count to ten slowly. This technique is intended to make the mind rational and catch up on its own feelings. If that’s not enough, count again.

Step #4 – Look for healthy ways to express your anger

It is often necessary to let out the anger that we carry internally. The key is to express feelings in a healthy way. When it is properly channeled and released with respect, anger can be a huge source of energy and inspiration for change.