There Are People Who Are Quick To Judge And Slow To Correct Themselves

There are people who can judge others at the speed of sound. No mercy and no anesthesia. They are guided by a blind gaze and an empty heart, without an air of empathy. Worse still, their minds are seeded by the self-centeredness that leaves so many sequels in our closest scenarios.

The art of educating ourselves from mistakes, tendencies or misinterpretations made is a very complicated mechanism to apply. This is because in the first place it requires actually breaking down the “ego” barrier mentioned above. Such a thing involves restructuring the foundations of our own identity. How can I admit that I was wrong in judging this person if I was raised to distrust what I don’t know?

We live in a society where value judgments prevail, this is something we all know. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how hard you try to demonstrate something, because there will always be someone who will gladly put a pin on you to classify you amidst this world of complex flora and fauna. But no matter that this reality is as chaotic as a jungle, no matter how many times we are judged or labeled false.

It’s just words, empty gestures, ambient noise. Because in a complex world the only thing that counts is authenticity, and that’s the only thing we need to preserve every day and every moment.

Judging: something we all do with better or worse intentions

We all do it. Everyone, in our daily lives and in our relationships, makes use of value judgments. But far from seeing this psychological resource as a negative thing, we need to take it for what it really is: a natural need to assess and control what we don’t yet know.

We judge as a survival mechanism. However, how we do it is directly fueled by our personality, our own tendencies and our own flexibility of thought. According to a survey conducted by Harvard University, people take just over two seconds to “evaluate a person.” In fact, we do this based on two very basic aspects:

• Can I trust this person?
• Does she deserve my respect?

Harvard psychologists summarize these questions in two dimensions: intimacy and competition. If we are in a professional context, competition will undoubtedly be an essential aspect. Can this person help my productivity? Are you a respectful leader? Is it creative and will it motivate me? Will I be able to work as a team with her?

On the other hand, the dimension of closeness or trust is undoubtedly one of the most important aspects of our lives. In fact, it’s crucial to our very survival: trust is power, it’s bonding, it’s growing. Therefore, we judge based on what we see and feel to know whether or not we can trust that person.

However, it is clear that we do not always get it right…

Bad judgment and the value of correction

If judging is part of our survival mechanism, it is necessary to know how to assume bad judgment in order to incorporate learning. However, as we already know, this attitude is not very common. Each categorization we issue comes from the deepest part of our own being, our education, values, experiences and more or less correct interpretations.

Bad judgment requires acting with humility to accept error. Because wisdom comes precisely from those who are capable of reconstructing thought schemes to improve coexistence. It implies, above all, a change: if we are capable of judging others, we also need to know how to judge ourselves.

How to learn to control harmful judgments

We already know that we issue judgments almost instinctively. A first step to avoid falling into prejudice or the grosser stereotype is to adopt a more reflective attitude. Before reaching a conclusion about something or someone, it is worth putting the following into practice:

• Every judgment you make reflects a part of yourself. Ask yourself what makes you think that way to issue that judgment, to put that label on.
• Depersonalize. Don’t link behaviors to “types of people”. Each of us is a unique person, so don’t put the shackles of judgment on someone, like you, born to be free and different from the rest of us.
• Look for the goodness in each person. Believe it or not, even if it is difficult to see at first, this person who makes you distrust their image may hide aspects to learn from, greatness to imitate and nobility that they can inspire.

Last but not least, try to feel good about yourself. Because whoever is in harmony, satisfied with what he is and what he has, does not judge. Those who fill their gaps with the certainty of a good self-esteem do not see defects where they do not exist. It doesn’t look for victims to project its needs.