Affective Relationships With Highly Sensitive People (PAS)
Falling in love is, for many, a roller coaster of nervous emotions, difficult to organize. It is an intense chaos of happiness sprinkled, at times, with the most unbearable of sadness.
A reality that can be even more overflowing for the so-called “people with high sensitivity” (PAS).
Let’s remember that highly sensitive people occupy 20% of our population and encompass a series of psychological and emotional particularities that differentiate them from the rest.
Characteristics of highly sensitive people
The worldview of people with high sensitivity comes from the depths of their hearts, and although many qualify this as a “gift”, sometimes as an aura, the truth is that it can end up damaging authentic happiness.
These people are intuitive and creative, they are able to perceive the emotions of others in all their tones, but this, in turn, makes them more reactive, that is, they feel more affected and hurt by certain things that the rest of the people.
Highly sensitive people appreciate their solitude much more, sometimes prefer to undertake activities alone, being able to appreciate the world in its authentic reality.
They have their own rhythm, their own time, very different from the fast-paced materialism of the rest, where they don’t always feel integrated.
They are observant, intuitive, detail-oriented, self-demanding and have a lower pain threshold. They are disturbed by loud sounds, and it is even common to see young children who feel pain when wearing certain clothes and hearing certain voices.
As we can see, highly sensitive people have a finer view of reality, but at the same time this gift, this trait of their personality, makes them much more vulnerable. Especially in love…
The relationships between PAS and non-PAS people
Since PAS people make up approximately 20% of the population, it is normal that there are many relationships with non-PAS people, that is, people who are not highly sensitive.
Obviously there are many individual differences: there are highly sensitive people who have decided that it is better to be alone, thanks to the incompatibilities and the suffering caused by them.
There are cases in which this accumulation of sensations or emotions generates in them a high level of stress and anxiety, which results in physical pain. A pain so suffered that it made them think that it is better “not to fall in love”.
But we also need to say that highly sensitive people fall in love easily. His virtue of appreciating people in all their spheres makes them feel attracted immediately, and they are filled with a comforting energy, which in this case is physical and emotional attraction.
But they run several risks that need to be taken into account:
Personality differences between PAS and non-PAS people
If you’re a highly sensitive person, it’s possible that, little by little, you’ll come to realize that your partner doesn’t appreciate the same things you do. He doesn’t reach the same emotional and intellectual depth as you.
This will sometimes make you feel frustrated and demand certain things from your partner… things that he simply cannot offer you or that he is not able to see or intuit. They tend to be so different personalities that it is common for a disillusionment, a misunderstanding to appear…
If you are a PAS person, you should be aware that others may perhaps not meet your expectations or may not be on the same level as you. And all this often results in great suffering.
PAS people and their great affection
Another reality that often happens is that it is very difficult for highly sensitive people to monitor their personal limits: they tend to offer everything to the other person, forgetting about themselves.
It’s too big a risk. Obviously it is wonderful to achieve this symbiotic union where we offer all our affection, all our emotions, time and experiences for the loved one… For highly sensitive people, there is nothing more comforting.
But you have to protect yourself and be careful with boundaries. If we give everything to the other person, we will lose our identity and we will be even more vulnerable to any disappointment , any situation that might upset us, any difference.
Little by little, frustration and disappointment can appear… dimensions that, for a person with such sensitivity and for whom self-demanding is very important, can end up being very destructive.
Any failure or disillusionment is experienced in a very traumatic way on all levels. Both physical and psychic, at the risk of falling into depression.
Being a highly sensitive person can be a virtue.
You have to be aware of this. Being a PAS person can be a virtue, a gift. But it is, in fact, a personality trait that requires self-knowledge, knowing who we are and what is bad for us in order to establish limits within which we can protect ourselves.
Understand that the rest of the people won’t feel what you feel, won’t see what you see… but even so, they will also be able to love and offer the happiness that you too deserve.
Maintain a good level of self-esteem by enjoying who you are and who you are. It is possible that this sensitivity is, at times, synonymous with suffering, but this is not always the case.
As you understand yourself better, you will be able to survive in this reality that sometimes does not shine as sensitively as it should.
