Respect Is Like Money: Some Ask, Others Get

Respect is a universal value that we should all practice without restrictions. However, there are those who impose it on themselves without taking others into account, claiming a right does not know any approximation or empathy. Because respect is an absence of exploitation and if someone is not capable of offering it, neither could they demand it.

The etymology of words always teaches us wise things. In this case, if we investigate the roots of the word “respect” we will come across “respectus” which, in turn, derives from “specere” which means to look again, review and in front of everything “have the wisdom to see something in your essence or in its individuality”.

Without respect, everything is lost: love, honesty, integrity… Few values ​​are as essential as knowing how to respect each other, with our differences and particularities.

We’ve all felt in our own skin a moment when we weren’t respected in some aspect. Injustices happen in all areas: family , school, work, relationship with two… It is necessary to reflect a little more on this, because, as Kant once said, with respect, dignity is developed by oneself and by those that surround us.

Respect always starts with ourselves

Respect always starts with ourselves, because the higher our level of self-esteem, the more we respect others. It may seem obvious, we know that , but it’s not because things are logical that we always practice them, as in this case. The ability to respect ourselves in an integral and authentic way presupposes that we are able to develop the following aspects:

• Having a positive attitude towards ourselves, reaffirming our personal value and also knowing how to act in a balanced way according to our values and needs.
• Respect for ourselves is knowing that we have the right to be happy, to defend ourselves in the face of injustice, to have our own space and an opinion to be heard.
• It is also necessary to feel that we are deserving of everything we have achieved, strengthening our self-esteem and, in turn, being responsible for each triumph, for each decision made, and even for each mistake made.

If we understand and internalize each of these aspects, we will be aware that those in front of us also deserve the same things. Because those who are incapable of respecting themselves will feel nothing when it comes to hurting others.

Lack of respect or inability to “put yourself in the shoes of others”

Erich Fromm dealt very fully with the subject of respect in his book “The Art of Love”. For the famous philosopher, humanist and psychoanalyst, this term could never start from fear or imposition. If we respect someone, we shouldn’t do it out of fear or submission, as happens in some parent-child relationships, or even in love relationships.

Respect should actually be an attitude practiced from admiration: “I respect you because I admire your way of being, because I know you and I have empathy for you”. Obviously, we know that this does not always happen and that we must often face this type of conduct.

• There are those who think they have the best values, the best attitudes and, therefore, demand an almost reverential respect, minimizing the rights of others.

• Those who do not respect themselves, those who lack initiative, self-esteem, need others to show them respect in order to have power, to feed the ego of their own needs. These are very destructive behaviors.

Respect is, above all, accepting others the way they are, being, in turn, sensitive to their needs. If a person lacks empathy and is unable to put himself in the shoes of others, it will be impossible for him to produce this approach, this act of humility and tolerance.

Practicing respect costs nothing and does a lot

Respecting others is the noblest intrinsic value we can practice on a daily basis. Now, as we pointed out earlier, we must never offer it out of submission or because it was imposed on us. Every sincere act must take place from the freedom of one’s own heart, never from fear.

Respect is to tolerate thoughts different from ours, is to accept that there are other ways of understanding the world and that all of them are equally legitimate. If we do not admit that our children have their own opinions and initiatives, we will be hindering their personal growth and, consequently, we will be acting with lack of respect.

In turn, the couple who have nurtured, from the beginning, equality, honesty and complicity in small things, build a healthy and, above all, happy relationship. Because we must deposit respect, we must deposit harmony, in each person who enters or passes through our life and, moreover, in each animal and in nature itself.

Images courtesy of  Claudia Tremblay