When An Ex-partner Rebuilds His Life
For some people it is very difficult to accept that an ex-partner has started a new relationship. This can be due to several factors, such as remaining in love, not experiencing the mourning phase properly or not wanting the other person to remake their life before they do.
Knowing through different means that our ex-partner has already “remade” his life is not always good news, even when everything happened a long time ago. Why is it so hard to rejoice in this person’s happiness? What happens inside of us that doesn’t allow us to let go of what happened? Is it a warning sign telling us that, deep down, we didn’t want to end the relationship or are we still in love?
Going through the mourning phase is essential
It may take weeks, months or even years, but the fact is that we all need to go through this stage called “grieving” (it has the same name as the suffering we go through with the death of someone very close, because it means that we must accept that person will no longer be on our side). No matter who decided the relationship was over, even for those who made the decision to break up, this is a step that needs to be lived.
This period is essential for you to adapt to the new reality, understand that life has changed and that everything that happened has a reason and an explanation. That is, accepting that no pain is forever and that we can move on, even if that person is no longer part of our present and our future. He simply got “in the middle of the road” and is now a part of his past.
To overcome grief we recommend that you go back to doing what you like, focus on your feelings and, of course, learn from mistakes. No one can guarantee that even when we think we are “healed”, we don’t have relapses or moments of sadness associated with the loss, but the fact is that over time the wounds heal.
If I’ve been through grief, why are my feelings “found”?
Nobody said it would be easy to go through this phase… we often believe that we have already forgotten our ex until something (a word, a memory, a photograph, a meeting) rekindles the memories. Digging so deeply into our emotions and bringing out the most hidden emotions can make anyone falter.
When we know that our ex-partner has started a new relationship, conflicting feelings arise and we don’t understand why. “If I’m over it, why does it bother me?” “He forgot me so quickly?”, “How did he make up his life before me?” “Now I have no hope of getting it back”. These are just some of the most common questions in this situation.
We believe that when we have a new partner, everything else is in the past, and that’s not how it happens. There are few who try to forget the ex with another relationship, many believe that they cannot live alone or that they need someone to be happy.
Some people find their “soul mate” after a breakup because during their grief they struggled to learn from their mistakes and understood what they were looking for in a relationship.
The fact that your ex is married doesn’t mean that the new partner is better than you, that he forgot you too quickly, that you were just fun, or that he never loved you. It was just the way he found to rebuild his life and trust love again.
When your ex-partner rebuilds his life, this is always good news.
As difficult as it is to accept that your ex already has someone else, this is always good news. Maybe you don’t believe this and keep criticizing everything he did wrong, you don’t understand how he managed to “replace” you so quickly or even that this news has shown you that you still haven’t completely forgotten him.
If you still haven’t found a person who fits you, don’t be put off, you’re no worse than anyone else. Don’t compare yourself to what happens to your ex. Take this time alone to get to know yourself better, to heal the wounds of the past, to understand what is going on inside you, and to focus on the future.
If, however, you are already married and still get upset to know that your ex is in a new relationship, it can’t be because you’re still in love with that person, but it’s a feeling known as “narcissistic wound” .
What does that mean? A “low blow” in our own love forces us to accept that there is another person occupying a place that was ours. Jealousy? Envy? A little of both! Try to think coolly and don’t put your feelings before your thoughts. Everyone has the right to be happy and share their moments with someone special!
