The Tyranny Of Positive Psychology
Lately, certain phrases have become fashionable which we can say are intended to be motivational, but which on many occasions are no more than advertising slogans. Most of the time, these phrases, instead of helping, make us feel guilty, showing that Positive Psychology can actually be a tyranny, especially when we think about another current trend, Coaching.
Coaching is not psychology, so much so that to be a coach it is not necessary to be a psychologist. This trend emerged from the advertising area and its very name already indicates that the coach is a personal trainer, a motivator, who thinks he helps you by enhancing your abilities, but in no way deals with personal problems or low self-esteem.
But Positive Psychology is not that, it is not just releasing a series of sentences to an audience trying to raise their morale. Positive Psychology is teaching to see life in a more positive way, but without denying the existence of negative feelings. It is working from another point of view, in a way even opposite to the point of view of classical psychology, which is more focused on symptoms than on people’s abilities, virtues and strengths.
Even so, there are those who understand that coaching and Positive Psychology are the same thing, using expressions that, if understood literally, become tyrannical, as their effect is none other than to temporarily stop personal discomfort. Here we will talk about some of them and how Positive Psychology would deal with the situation:
don’t complain
We all live in situations that bother us, that cause pain, but in most cases we can deal with them. If it’s up to you to recognize what’s bad and eliminate it from your life, there’s no reason to ignore it just to maintain an image of continual happiness. The important thing is to be happy with yourself, and many times to achieve this we have to fight against the discomfort that is inside us, including putting it out.
Use humor and love in the face of other people’s madness
“If your partner is in a bad mood, give him kisses and play games. Your duty is to put up with everything and everyone with a smile on your face. Don’t ruin anyone’s day. Spoil yours is impossible because you are always happy, remember that putting a smile on your face everything is resolved by pure magic.”
Clearly this statement calls for you to be submissive to others, to let go of your negative emotions and feelings. Your needs would always be in the background because the important thing would always be the other. That’s not right, the most important thing in everyone’s life has to be oneself. Liking yourself and being able to express your annoyances to others, without this being a daily habit, is essential.
unconditionally like everyone
“When someone does something bad to you, it’s because you don’t know or because the child you’re carrying has its problems unresolved. Forgive everything without asking for anything in return, because the human being is pure impulse, it is not rational, and that way, nothing can make you suffer if you know that people have their difficulties”.
The human being is rational and intentional most of the time. While it is possible that something is not done on purpose, it is up to you to decide if you are being manipulated or if there is really an unintentional oversight. Follow your instincts and recognize who wants your good and who wants to take advantage of you. Remember that wolves may dress in sheep’s clothing, but they will never cease to be wolves.
Authentic Positive Psychology
Authentic Positive Psychology does not make you be submissive or feel guilty, but it enhances your strengths in the face of life’s adversities. It does not deny that discomfort does exist, but it helps you to see it and face it from another point of view, related to well-being.
Positive Psychology does not intend to reduce your life to the absurd, or to explain it through a series of simple slogans. It intends to admit that life is hard, but that hardness depends a lot on the point of view we adopt. Or, as a famous American writer would say:
