Sometimes It’s Not Love That Ends, But Patience

Sometimes it’s not love that ends, but patience, which they say is holy, because it resists winds and tides and always ends up giving more than it should.

Now, how can you not offer everything for that person with whom you have built an affective and vital bond and even a life project?

It is clear that it is justified to give in so many times more than you should, to exercise forgiveness today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, and to wait a little longer with the hope that things will get better…

There are those who say that patience is a virtue, but it is clear that this dimension cannot be applied to all areas, and that, in addition, it must have certain limits.

You cannot spend a lifetime being patient, seeing your rights become vulnerable, and you need reciprocity, care, affection and recognition.

Love requires commitment, willingness and patience… but up to a point

Patience in love is not the same thing as passivity.

As we said earlier, it is common to define the concept of patience as a virtue. It is the faculty that people have to put off certain things that bring us satisfaction, because we think that waiting, in the long run, will bring better things.

There are those who justify using this word as a dimension that must be assumed.

Things are bad, but what can you do? It takes patience. “What can I do if he’s like that? I can’t change it, so it’s better to be patient”…

It is necessary not to confuse patience with passivity

In fact there is the authentic key. We can be patient, we can make patience our best virtue because it helps us to better analyze the situation, to know how to observe, to be reflective.

However, this entire inner process must allow us to see the authentic reality.

A patient person has no reason to be passive. The passive person makes tolerance their way of life, allowing abuse to even experience in their own skin how their integrity is vulnerable. And this is something that should never be allowed.

The benefits of being patient but not passive

When establishing a loving relationship, patience is a pillar in everyday life that we must recognize. Of course, you don’t have to like every aspect, behavior or habit of your partner, but that doesn’t mean you will act impulsively throwing the fact in your face and ending the relationship.

We are patient, we respect and we tolerate because we love. Because we also know that in every couple there is a time for things to fall into place, for everything to fall into place and, in turn, for us to understand each other’s needs.

Now patience in turn requires emotional clarity. We need to know where the limits are and understand when we are becoming vulnerable as a person. As members of an affectionate relationship.

It is not necessary to be passive in the face of selfish demands, in front of the position of prioritizing oneself before the other. One should not close one’s eyes to needs, nor be impassive to the emotional pain that emptiness provokes, contempt or subtle mistreatment exercised through poisoned words.

This is where patience must fall, pull your veil to see the truth.

When patience ends… What to do?

When patience ends, disappointment arrives because we are already aware of our reality in all its nuances. In all its contrasts. Now, this doesn’t mean that you must end this relationship on the spot, if you are still in love with the other person.

It’s time to talk, to make the situation clear and say what you feel and what you need. It’s not about evading the problem. If this commitment interests you, you will do everything possible to keep it.

Now, for a relationship to thrive or heal those hurting needs, the effort must be mutual. When one offers more and the other only offers his apologies, patience is completely lost, and with it, the disappointment turns into an abyss.

Images courtesy of Anne Soline, Виктория Кирдий