5 Grief Phrases To Deal With A Loss

We’ve all experienced a grieving process at some time. A series of steps that follow one after the other and allow us to assimilate a loss. However, this process hurts so much that sometimes we linger too long on one of these steps, which end up taking longer than necessary. The mourning phrases below bring light and hope if we are going through such a painful time.

Furthermore,  the mourning phrases that we are going to expose are not only positive, but allow us to reflect on what this whole process entails and everything we can learn from it. Thus, they also help us to be more aware of what to avoid and what to do.

Grief phrases that help us to reflect

1. There is no mourning like the one who does not speak

This sentence by Henry Wadsworth emphasizes the great weight we carry when we don’t allow ourselves to express our pain. We grieve in the face of loss, but certain beliefs and conditions can encourage us to keep up appearances.

Not crying in public, not expressing our emotions out of fear of what others will think of us, are barriers that prevent us from accepting and processing the loss. All of this leads us to carry on our backs an immense pain that lasts for a long time. Also,  the burden of not expressing what we feel can turn into deep depression.

It is important to give ourselves permission to express our feelings. Repressing them makes us very bad.

2. Grief is good. It’s the way to go through life’s transitions

This is one of Rick Warren’s grief phrases that invites us to see this process as an opportunity to say goodbye to  the person who left us. Sometimes we feel that we haven’t had the opportunity to do so and grief allows us, little by little, to let her go.

However, this quote from Warren also  invites us to see grief as preparation for a new stage in our lives. A stage in which that person will not be physically present, which does not imply that he is not present in our hearts.

Going through grief allows us to say goodbye and transform the relationship we had with that person . Furthermore, it makes us aware that we can move forward.

3. Grief is a process, not a state

At the beginning of the article, we commented that, sometimes, mourning lasts longer than necessary. That’s why this sentence by Anne Grant especially mentions that grief is a process, not a state. A series of steps to go through, ranging from negotiation to depression, from denial to sadness, to finally accepting the loss. Despite this, the order is not always the same.

Many people get stuck in one of these phases. They can live with denial, and even sadness, for far too long – even for the rest of their lives. That is why Grant’s phrase invites us to open our eyes, to realize that mourning is not a state.

Believing that grief is a state will keep us from getting on with our lives and will keep us from being happy. It is important that we are able to let the person who is no longer with us go away. We must learn to let go of it, as much as it hurts. It will be really liberating.

4. Grief challenges us to love once more

This is one of Terry Tempest Williams’ mourning phrases, which invites us to see this process as a challenge. Some people who are unable to face a loss  refuse to love again for fear of losing the other. This is, however, a risk worth taking.

Like all things, everything without its positive side and also its negative side. If we didn’t know sadness, we wouldn’t value happiness. Therefore,  even if there are losses throughout our life, going through the stages of mourning helps us to say goodbye and to run the risk of loving again.

5. Don’t protect yourself from pain with a wall, but with your friends

This Czech proverb is extremely revealing. Sometimes, when suffering a loss, we close in on ourselves and withdraw from others. We stopped staying with friends, seeing the family, having a social life and also doing what we liked.

It’s as if we’ve put up a barrier to protect us from the pain we feel, although in reality maybe we’re just strengthening it. Spending time with ourselves and our pain is good, but it’s also good to share it and allow others to support us. 

When we find hands that are raised to us, friends that hug us, other people’s words that comfort us, mourning can be lived in a healthier way. Isolating ourselves from others can cause us to be consumed by pain and not know how to let it go.

Have you ever been through grief? How did you support it? These mourning phrases help us to become more aware of what this process means and that even though our emotions may sink in, it is necessary to float away from this situation. What looks like an ending is not always. At times it may be hiding new beginnings and opportunities or simply different ways of relating to people who are gone.