Wanting To Please Everyone Is Unnecessary Wear And Tear
When we try to please everyone, we end up not pleasing ourselves. How many times have we said yes to others by saying NO to ourselves? How many times do we sacrifice our will, our desires and our feelings to please someone?
We’ve probably done this many times over our lives, as the line between “giving in” in a healthy way and “giving in” too much in front of others is very thin. No doubt we can say that this is as dangerous as it is unnecessary.
In this sense, it is sometimes difficult to keep the line when we need to say NO to something that would nullify us. It may even be that the voice trembles a little and that we avoid eye contact. However, learning to protect our essence with assertiveness is critical.
don’t say YES when you want to say NO
One of the definitions of “assertiveness” closest to colloquial language that we can find comes from psychologist Walter Riso, who proposes the following:
“Assertiveness is a person’s ability to say NO, express their disagreement, put a contrary position to oppose in conflicting situations and do it not as the submissive does, who is negotiating with his principles, nor as he does it the aggressive, violating the principles of others.
An assertive person is a person who is able to express their negative feelings, without violating the rights of others or trying not to violate them”.
To do this is to drink poison, drink water from the source of eternal unhappiness, and turn into dissatisfied people with great anger and enormous frustration for not asserting our opinions and beliefs.
Don’t lose your essence when someone hurts you, just be careful
A master from the East saw a scorpion drowning and decided to pull it out of the water, but when he did, the scorpion stung him. Due to the reaction to the pain, the master released him and the animal fell into the water and was drowning again. The master tried to take it out again and again the animal bit him. Someone who was watching the master approached him and said:
– Sorry, but you are stubborn! Can’t you see that every time you try to get him out of the water he’s going to sting you?
The master replied:
– The nature of the scorpion is to sting, and that will not change mine, which is to help.
So, with the help of a leaves, the master took out the scorpion and saved it.
“Don’t change your essence when someone hurts you, just be careful.” What others think of you is not your problem, it’s their problem.
We should not stop being who we are just because someone harms or harms us at a certain moment. We have to learn to manage our will and reassess the circumstances in order to adapt our strategies to them.
Likewise, intuitively re-evaluating our feelings for others is not the solution either. We must strive for them and work on our expectations so that we can maintain our principles without feeling bad.
Therefore, as we say, wanting to please everyone has a great emotional cost that is avoidable, as it destroys self-esteem, self-love and determination. That’s why we need to protect ourselves and take the necessary precautions to coat our essence and not suffer needlessly. the key is to say NO when necessary.
