What I Would Like People To Understand About Sadness

What I would like you to understand about sadness is that I have a right to feel it, to live it, and to embrace it without you labeling me weak. My world will rebuild itself again piece by piece, after having faced its nuances and understood my demons.

Being sad is not being sick, or having depression, or having let yourself be overcome like souls defeated by the difficulties of life. Sadness is an emotion, a punctual state of mind where the world is immobilized so that we can understand ourselves a little more. To go deeper into our emptiness.

While it is true that when we maintain an emotional state with a negative component such as sadness for a prolonged period, there is the possibility of falling into helplessness or depression. However, this is not something that happens all the time.

Sadness comes and goes, and even if we try to find its origin, there are sorrows that have no explanation: they appear for no reason. They are negative moods that disappear soon, when the movement of life touches us again, with its hopes, with its sunny days and smiles that also have no explanation. It is then necessary to delve a little deeper into this emotion so common that it should not be feared. What’s more, never label it synonymous with personal weakness.

Good morning sadness, today I remembered you

We open our eyes in the morning and, without knowing how, there is that relentless feeling that takes our spirits away and lets all the memories of yesterday fall over our memories. Sadness dresses us with its cold cloak and we are paralyzed.

Sadness is part of our lives  and we can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that it is one of the most common emotions, and at the same time one of the least understood. No one dares to say out loud “I’m sad”; we always prefer to disguise, use the mask…

And even more, if we dare to communicate to someone that we feel that way, the most common thing is for them to respond with a “but if you’re happy, life is short, smile!” . This is not very suitable. Sadness needs to be understood, and is rarely resolved by drawing a smile on the face,  even though we always do. Now let’s look at some essentials that would be worth everyone understanding.

Sadness is a mood with many shades

We understand sadness basically as a negative emotion. Now, despite the fact that most of the time it is associated with some drastic aspect, such as an end, a loss, a failure or a disappointment , there is not always a “negative” origin per se.

• Sometimes sadness is a simple relapse, an apathy, a need to be alone with yourself, with your own thoughts.
• Being sad is not about being afraid, about wanting to run away from something. Sometimes there are those who tend to mix anger with sadness (they leave me and I react with anger, but later I will come to terms with my sadness, with emotional pain for a while)

Triggers of sadness cannot always be defined

The elements that bring sadness are sometimes very clear and were mentioned above: losses, failures, separations, disappointments…

• It is common for sadness to appear after a certain experience marked by anger, fear… It is the moment when the brain needs to “acknowledge” what has happened, and for that it needs to go inward and need to unload.
• Sadness can appear after a cognitive process. These are the moments when we assess an aspect of the present or past life, and suddenly negative emotions appear.
• Sadness can appear without a definite reason.  Sometimes a simple power outage, the visit of pessimism, climatic factors or even some health problem can influence it.

Let me cry, let me live my sorrows, but understand my process

The sad person thanks you for your presence, your support and your interest, but never tell them that “it’s silly to feel that way” , never accentuate a sad state through irony.

• It is necessary to live this moment and understand it to dig its origin. And for that, if necessary, we can resort to tears: they are an essential way of unloading.
• Understanding sadness means taking a trip to the interior, and for that we need some time for ourselves. We need to understand and rebuild. We need understanding and respect.
• Every emotion assumed and understood is a step towards recovery, and that is why it is necessary to know how to face all the daily sadness. So, don’t hide them under a mask, face them before drawing your emptiness with a warm smile.

Images courtesy of Anna Dittman and  Amanda Cash