The Day I Decided To Be Happy…

You think it’s a simple decision, don’t you? Be happy! Because you are feeling very good, it’s that simple. The hard part is dealing with the consequences and keeping your feet rooted in the certainties that made you take that breath, lift your head and say: “That’s enough, I want to be happy now!”

Most people are looking for their own happiness, and at break times, they give advice on how you should look for yours. In the end, each one is defending his own, because that’s the way life is, everything for survival. And to survive it takes a lot of selfishness, I have to tell you. Precisely for this reason, when they give their opinion about your  modus operandi  of happiness, people will, in the end, be thinking about what would make them happier, so that you act in accordance with that goal.

Blah, blah, blah (because I love a digression), I really want to tell you that deciding to be happy is simple, just reach out with your left hand and rest your right hand on your heart in an oath: “Happiness or death!” And bear the consequences! Know that, for you to be happy, many things will die, will be lost, will leave, and occasionally, will also break your heart.

The first sad realization I made when choosing to be happy is that people are disappointed in our personal decisions. I find it difficult to understand how the same mouth that says “I love you, I want your well”, can disrespect your right to choose how you will seek this “be well”. Because I like yellow and you might like purple, so what? I hate jiló, you might love it (someone must love it). I have my way to go my way… Go to the dictionary and find the definition of mine, please!

Then, and in short, I realized that everyone is looking for their own happiness. It’s looking at your navel and moving on! But beyond the navel itself, people insist on dictating the rules that will guide our happiness. They are those people we hold in high esteem and who insist on spoiling everything when they show they don’t care about you, they just want things to follow their mold.

That’s how I saw that I was no longer inside a mold, the mold of other people’s lives, I no longer fit in and where I didn’t leave of my own free will, I was expelled without ceremony (or I’m still insisting on a stubborn permanence and doomed to the end). V i die ties of a lifetime, I saw eyes of judgment and condemnation, saw him lose time old beliefs, watched the departure of people who did so well and when they saw me decide on my happiness, went and broke my heart.

The day I decided to be happy…

I cried. I suffered. Part of me died too. “Be careful not to look for happiness and never find it,” I heard. I reflected on these words… What if I was wrong, failing to realize that happiness was right there and I was incessantly seeking more and more without ever finding it?

Then I realized that what I was doing was just parking at a point where my happiness might be and insisting on extracting it from there, afraid to leave in search of happiness without ever finding it and let the opportunity that go unnoticed. I had it in my hands.

The day I decided to be happy was when I ran over old patterns. I pulled back the curtain of a dull spectacle (for me) and to my amazement it revealed an incredible horizon with a multitude of paths for me to follow. In the center of these paths was a sign indicating: Follow your heart.

It was then that I closed my eyes, opened my arms, reached out with my left hand and placed my right hand over my heart and whispered, making a huge echo inside me: “Happiness or death!” I felt happy… And I experienced the strange sadness of the death of many things, bonds and feelings. I cried at the departure, as I still cry today, of many people in my life. And I decided, for me, that these people who went so easily never really were.

You know what it is? For many people, coexistence is synonymous with convenience.

The day I decided to be happy I realized (happy) that I am a person who lives with my heart. And this group of people, I need to tell you, life hits mercilessly. Then I realized that being happy is like learning to ride a bike every day. We keep trying to balance ourselves between one stabaco and another and get up, grated and satisfied, because we are managing to maintain our balance and experiencing the freedom of being happy.

And if coexistence is really synonymous with convenience, I choose to live with people who conveniently make me happy!