7 Common Mistakes In Couple Relationships
Learning to build a healthy bond that makes us happy and, above all, that grows supported by a foundation of security and trust, is not easy. Among the reasons are common mistakes in love relationships.
Dealing with the difficulties and complications of everyday life requires patience and understanding combined with a willingness to want to resolve them. For this, it is important to learn to identify which of these errors are occurring and find a solution.
It is normal for relationships to go through difficult times, but overcoming them (if we want and if possible) contributes to their growth. Here are some of these common mistakes in relationships so we can identify them.
Some common mistakes in love relationships
1. Lose individuality
In a couple relationship, it is normal to find a shared identity to strengthen the bond between them and move away from conflicts and contradictions. In fact, it’s a positive thing because the interests, tastes and points of view in common contribute to the couple’s unity.
However, to achieve this goal we sometimes take the wrong path. One is to sacrifice individual identity to please another person, whether for fear of losing a partner or for the pursuit of harmony. In fact, this is unhealthy because both will be harmed.
A strong and healthy couple relationship is one where each person remains himself. Otherwise, what forms is a symbiosis, which in turn creates a profound malaise.
2. Hide weaknesses
There is no possibility that a relationship will grow if it is not based on sincerity. Sometimes we mistakenly think that the other can only love us if they think we’re perfect, but that’s not true.
True love is born when we show ourselves as we are. How else could they get to know us? Hiding under another identity or other characteristics will bring complications and frustrations in the long run.
Furthermore, what this attitude hides is a profound lack of self-love. Someone who tries to hide is showing that they feel unlovable because they believe that the only way to awaken love is to be someone else and not themselves.
3. Getting stuck in the rut
Another common mistake in relationships is allowing the routine to settle down where there used to be high emotions. This happens easily without people noticing. Things start to work out of inertia, transforming what they wanted and wanted to do into what they are or are used to doing.
To avoid routine, nothing better than trying to lead a complete individual life and then contributing our part to the success of the relationship. For this, it is important to look for ways to introduce new things, leaving the comfort zone whenever possible. It is not so difficult. All it takes is a little goodwill.
4. Disconnecting spiritually from each other
The spiritual has to do with the sense of transcendence that we give to life and all its components. When the couple is at the beginning of the relationship, love itself seems to paint everything as something that goes “beyond” the ordinary, a connection that is not only affective, but also spiritual.
The couple make plans together and each of them has a deep meaning in its own right. In this case, the couple is not only linked by mutual attraction, desire and love, but also by one or several purposes of joint transcendence. But over time, this gets lost. This is precisely one of the common mistakes in relationships that lead to disappointment and boredom. To combat it, there is nothing better than renewing common goals from time to time.
5. Wanting to change the other
This is one of the attitudes that appears in the more advanced stages of a relationship. A problem that has much more to do with not accepting oneself than with a real rejection of the other. Those who are satisfied with their lives and are emotionally responsible for what happens to them do not try to change the lives of others. In fact, it doesn’t depend on anyone to be happy.
When there are bonds of dependency and personal insecurities, the partner can become a kind of scapegoat. He becomes responsible for the problems and the solutions: if he changes, the couple’s life will improve. But this is not quite the case because each one is responsible for their own happiness and decisions.
6. Develop controlling behaviors
Although exclusivity is an implicit and explicit alliance in most couples, this does not imply that one of them has the right to manipulate the other’s behavior.
We make many mistakes when we cross the line between a healthy sense of exclusivity and a sense of selfish ownership. Thus, control behaviors appear, one of the most common mistakes in couple relationships.
One wants the other to act as he wishes. Otherwise, it feels threatened or starts a conflict. In this case, the fault lies with the individual and not the couple. Each one needs to learn to deal with their insecurities and not project them onto the other.
7. Hide important secrets
Each member of the couple has their private affairs guarded, no matter how much trust and intimacy there is between them. This is healthy: it indicates that each person’s individuality has been preserved. However, there are problems that must be solved by both and must not be hidden. If this is happening, there is likely to be something more serious in the background, as it is an attempt at manipulation, a breach of trust, or an indication of a serious communication problem.
Let’s not forget that we all have problems, including couples. It is normal for us to deal with one or another difficulty. The truth is, these obstacles don’t always indicate that the relationship is going bad. In most cases, it’s a matter of small bugs that we need to fix.
What is important is that when these common mistakes in relationships are identified, both members are willing enough to think about how to resolve them.
