If You Don’t Like Someone, There Is Always The Alternative Of Leaving

If you don’t like someone, if that person is unpleasant, don’t have any relationship with them if you want to, leave if that’s what you want. You are not here to satisfy anyone, nor to tolerate the intolerable. Always choose quiet distance over false hypocrisy.

Experts in interpersonal psychology (in charge of studying people’s connections to their closest social circles) claim that, on average, of all the people we meet in a day, at least 10% would not be to our liking if we got to know them. In other words: they wouldn’t fit into our personal maps, nor the puzzles of our lives.

In the same way that throughout our days we carry out small routines of “personal hygiene” to maintain health and have a good image, it is necessary that we also start practicing what is known as “mental hygiene”. One of his first postulates is as simple as it is essential: don’t try to like everyone. It’s a really useless source of suffering.

However, disliking does not mean that we should react firmly or aggressively, demarcating territory. In the end, coexistence shouldn’t be so complicated. It is based only on “being” and “letting be”. In “don’t do to me what you wouldn’t want them to do to you.”

We must be skillful architects of that courteous and constructive sincerity where no one gets hurt. Where never resort to this false hypocrisy that we see every day in our closest circles.

We propose that you reflect on this.

When you don’t like the people who are important to you

The liking or disliking of certain people on some occasions implies certain care. This is because there is no meaningful bond, because there is no emotional obligation towards that individual in a concrete way. However, the most complex arises when we realize that we don’t like or fit in with relevant figures who are too close.

There are vital moments as bitter as they are complex. Let’s imagine a teenager or a young person just entering adulthood, who is fully aware that his way of being, thoughts and values ​​do not fit with those of his parents. In turn, it’s also painful to see that we don’t like someone who attracts us. That we need this “spark” to generate a complicity, an attraction, an intimacy.

If it is the case that we are living in these types of situations today, it is necessary to focus on them in the following way.

• What others say about us should never be more important than what we think about ourselves. Don’t let your self-esteem be supported by any hierarchy. If you don’t like your family’s character, the root of the real problem is them, not you. So don’t stray from your essence, from what defines you, from what offers you light, life and character.

Another thing to keep in mind is the constant search for approval that many people need to make them feel that they are really “worth something”. Never let yourself be carried away by this dangerous current. The words of others do not define you, what defines you is your self-love.

• We need to know clearly who we are, what defines us and what reasons we have to feel proud of ourselves. Furthermore, it is recommended that we have the full right to be imperfect.
• What others think or think should never be above your own beliefs, expectations or values.
• You must be able to practice honesty with yourself. Know that if you don’t like someone, you don’t have to push the impossible or settle for false “crumbs”. Affection or forced love does not serve, is not useful, is poisonous.

So remember, it’s not in our hands, nor is it our obligation to like everyone by force. If someone doesn’t respect you as you are, it’s because they don’t like you as you deserve.

The Subtle Fabric of Hypocrisy

There are hypocrites disguised as best friends. There are false loves that sail in bitter oceans driven by hypocritical winds. There are also fathers and mothers who sell themselves as good educators when they don’t really know their children’s needs.

The subtle fabric of false hypocrisy is present in many of our closest circles. Furthermore, we are even able to identify and tolerate it. Surely  there is someone close to you who every day tells you how nice you are, how much she likes you and how wonderful you are. “ You do everything well! ”, he comments with an air charged with a certain falsehood, reeking of an unpleasant hypocrisy.

Don’t do that, don’t allow these behaviors. In the short term they are asphyxiating and in the long term they are destructive. In fact, hypocrite derives from “ hypokrisis ”, which means to pretend, act or speak in masks. However, and as data to consider, Noam Chomsky, linguist and social analyst, argued that hypocrisy is actually one of the worst evils in our society.

Taken or applied to more complex spheres, it is capable of promoting injustices, such as inequalities, war and all kinds of violations of this perverse lying attitude. It is not suitable. It is necessary to break this habit and drop the masks to live with greater integrity, with greater respect.

If you don’t like something or something seems unfair to you, you don’t have to bow your head and give in because everyone expects you to do it. If you don’t like someone, let them go away, let them go if you wish, but let go of this dance of falsehood. May they not bring you clouds of hypocrisy when you clearly defend worthy and respectful hearts.