7 Situations To Really Get To Know A Person

Many of us have lifelong friends; some continue to positively surprise us and, at other times, let us down. We are also meeting new people who show us how adorable they are, and we want to continue to meet and share things with them, as the company is so enjoyable.

But  getting to know a person in depth, with all its positive and negative parts, is something that implies more intimacy, many hours, many different situations and sharing more than just a dinner or a party night.

Still, even having shared a lot of time and many good and bad experiences,  there are concrete situations in which you really know a person. Let’s go over them, some more serious and others more banal, but all of them allow us to see internal aspects of this person that we didn’t know.

Stressful situations

When a person finds himself in a stressful situation, even if it is not serious,  we can know a lot about him by the way he approaches that situation.

She may be nervous, aggressive, unable to think clearly, not looking for solutions or even just complaining (less suitable people) or even blaming others for what happened.

We can also see an avoidant attitude, delegating responsibilities to others because you don’t think you can do something or because you have no reason to do it.

These situations are of the less important kind, but the way a person behaves in the face of minor stresses  will give us an idea of ​​how he can deal with situations of greater stress for more serious matters.

Situations where the person needs you and situations where they don’t

It’s not about one person just talking to you to ask for a favor and then not talking when you’ve already done it (which it does). These are relationships in which one of the parties is related to another, but  when it no longer interests you for various reasons, it ceases to remember you.

For example, a college friend with whom you did all your work and shared free time, and when you finish college, she is cold and distant. That friend you used to go out with and once you start dating you know little or nothing about her. That person to whom you offered help to move to another country and suddenly ignores you when it’s already installed…

Knowing when your friend or friend needs you and when they don’t will give you a clue as to who that person really is. Despite what she tells you, the most important thing is to observe her actions.

Coexistence situations

Coexistence is the ultimate test if you want to know how a person really behaves. The way of respecting your space, respecting your things, not arguing for absurd things… You notice if the person is able to share or simply follow your life in your home, which often seems like anything but something shared.

You see if she is able to take the time to talk a little about the things that concern you, if she helps you if you get sick, if she doesn’t commit to matters of accounts, meetings or a simple failure in your house.

You can tell if she is healthy independently or if she is clearly and evidently selfish  in everything she does, and also if the person is friendly on the street and treats others in a hostile way in the relationship.

Situations where she talks about others to you

Commenting about others is normal, especially when two people share the same group of friends or develop in a common environment (professional, sports, social…). But  talking about others does not imply lack of respect.

Instead,  continually judging what she does, considering whether her life is better or worse than yours, or telling that person intimate things can give you some clue  as to who’s on your side.

Economic hardship situations

It’s hard to know when a friend is really selfish.  You need to realize when a person does you a favor just because you’ve done others for them and because you know that maybe you’ll repay the favor later. But this generosity is false, this is not without interest.

When we go through an economic hardship and this person does not take into account our situation  and, in addition to not offering help, still complains about something unfair from the past, we realize what kind of person we have as a friend.

She may even  lend us some money, but she will do so reluctantly, always asking us when we are going to return it (without needing it right now) or talking to others about how much she has done for us, leaving us in a very good position. unpleasant.

Situations related to your joys

A friend must be present in times of joy and sadness. It’s often said that people who aren’t real friends leave you alone when you’re having a bad time and only remember you when it’s fun.

But the opposite can happen: the friend who seems to listen to you and who is on your side when everything goes wrong and still devalues ​​you and emotionally boycotts you when things go well. If your life starts to get on track and the person feels jealousy or false joy, it’s not for you.

Complicated situations where you need their help

People experience stressful situations in their lives, and it is extremely important to have social support that, for us, seems valid and warm.

Surprisingly, in those moments when we most need someone’s attention and affection,  we can find indifference, bad words or an understatement of our humor.  We may even notice a cold attitude, in which the other person’s problems remain above our own, even though we are going through a really difficult situation.

So  surround yourself with the best people and be one of them too. And never forget, treat others as you would like to be treated. A strong network of friends is a very valuable treasure that one must know how to build, maintain and appreciate.

Images by Nicoletta Ceccoli and Kukula.