How Can A Lonely Person Find Love?

Can a lonely person find love? We often think of lonely people as misfits, unique outsiders from the social world, inveterate shy people, and those weird people that no one quite understands. Nothing is further from reality. A loner does not renounce connection or give up on feeling love when the opportunity arises.

However, it can be complicated and even contradictory. The solitude chosen is a very characteristic and even prescribed lifestyle : there are no rules or agreements with anyone, the house is for one person and the activities and tasks to be carried out are decided at the desired time. The solitary does not like formal bonds or being diluted in other people’s commitments.

So how do you harmonize your personality with the firm desire to find true, authentic, and lasting love? There are strategies. However, it is necessary to clarify a series of dimensions that will allow us to act and find that person who fits into our unique universe. Because solitude, as Arthur Schopenhauer said, is the destiny of all excellent spirits. Finding someone who feels the same way would undoubtedly be the best of luck.

How can I find love if I am a lonely person?

We often define this type of profile as “lone wolves”. This doesn’t make much sense, because wolves live in packs and have a strong social group. Lonely are the bears, koalas and lionfish, a fascinating sea creature capable of hitting anything that comes close with their venomous fins.

In nature, as we see, there are also many non-gregarious creatures. Now, the caveat is that the lonely person is integrated into a social environment and has generally learned to move very well between the two spheres.

They are men and women who, still developing effectively among the groups, resort to their own refuges whenever they can. Because  the solitude chosen voluntarily does not hurt, but balances and enriches.

However, the loner is not without his few friends. And even less closes the doors to love. Because falling in love is something that everyone likes, gets excited and even dreams about. So how do I find love if I am a lonely person? These would be some strategies to consider.

Clarify why you want to find a partner: desire or need

Do you want to find someone interesting to love, with whom to share projects, experiences and plans for the future? Or do you need a person to relieve your loneliness? It is necessary to clarify this distinction by a specific detail: there are many people who define themselves as lonely. They are men and women who do not hesitate to express that “this is the life they like and the one that defines them”.

However, far from being a chosen life, it is the one they were forced to have. Something like this makes them, at times, desperately need a love, a companion who saves and relieves the pain and loneliness. This is not the best way or the best choice. The wisest is, without a doubt, the one who first loves his own solitude, because in it he learns to love himself unconditionally.

Only then are we ready to find someone special. Only then will we be prepared to find love out of simple desire and not out of necessity.

Be clear about the type of relationship you want to have.

If you’re wondering how to find love when you’re lonely, ask yourself first: what kind of relationship are you looking for? You may not want a compromise where there is common coexistence. You may want to share time, life, and relationship with this person only on weekends.

There is also  the possibility that you prefer to go little by little, without commitments or bonds, leaving the relationship to mature and decisions to be made on time. In any case, you should be very clear about this and, in turn, let the other person know what you want and look for it so that they don’t have false expectations.

In a world where most feel lonely, you have an advantage

Strange, antisocial, obnoxious… Lonely people are given hundreds of adjectives for their way of being and all are far from the true reality. In a world where most feel lonely, they have an advantage. Because they don’t feel pain or discomfort; on the contrary, they enjoy their time and that chosen existence.

All of this is an advantage. So don’t see others as Mars figures as you orbit Saturn. There aren’t that many differences, and the best thing is to find someone who feels good about themselves. Because those who have learned to enjoy their solitude have a rich inner world to offer, with fewer fears and insecurities.

Take advantage of your temperance, your reflection, your open mind, that strength that defines you in the face of difficulties and the inherent loyalty that lies within you.

How can I find love if I am a lonely person? Look for connection spaces

In a world more globalized than ever, many people live on their islands of solitude. There are more loners than you think, men and women who see and feel the world the same way you do. Thus, our technological society offers us wonderful channels that are worth taking advantage of.

We can look for people with the same affinities in different groups and spaces on social networks. We have dating apps where everyone describes their profile and what they look for and expect from a partner.

Finding love being a lonely person is not a contradiction nor is it impossible. If that’s what we want, just open up to it…