I Like Friends Who Respect Time, Silence And Space
My best friends can be counted on the fingers of one hand. They are few, but they are big, with sincere feelings and without double meanings. It’s an accomplice, altruistic friendship, that doesn’t know about blackmail, that offers itself with freedom to encourage, to make my life more complete…
And you, how many friends do you have?
There are those who pride themselves on having a huge amount of friends, names they collect on social networks, people they barely know and who, however, are those who always offer them a “like” in each of their publications.
Good friends are not just names and photographs in our cell phone calendars. They are people who listen to our words and know how to interpret our gestures.
They are lives that fit into our empty corners, voices that fill our spaces in the bad and the good times, they are laughter that relativizes the problems and people with whom we build our days.
However… how could we define good friends? Don’t think about favors. Friendship should not be based only on “One day you give it to me, the next I give it to you”. Sometimes, in addition to support, fun or mutual help, a good friendship, a GREAT friendship, is also based on silence, space and time.
Let’s think about it.
The language of silences
Surely this has happened to you at some point. Being in a meeting with other people and feeling a real discomfort when there is silence in the group.
It is then that we make those empty, hollow comments with which we alleviate the emptiness of words, that faces are examined without quite knowing what to do.
It’s something that doesn’t just happen to strangers. There are times when we feel this same discomfort with some family members or co-workers.
It’s as if the silence opens the door to these silent thoughts that cause us fear… “Is the person judging me?” , “What is she thinking about me?”
That doesn’t happen with good friends. We could also say, and as a reflection, that people practice the value of silence very little.
There where souls rest peacefully, where complicity acquires its authentic meaning. We are people who don’t need words to be together, to feel good. Silences are comfortable with people we care about because we allow ourselves to be ourselves, with all our authenticity, without being judged.
The inexistence of time…
“But what’s going on with your life…? It seems like you forgot about everyone, you’re always on your own and you don’t remember the others! You gone!”
It could be that some of your friendships are like that. You missed a day of “non-communication” for no reason, simply because you wanted to or because you don’t have to be in constant contact. And little by little the complaints appear.
It’s like that, there are people who don’t understand this kind of thing. There are those who think that friendship is a news item that we have to “update daily”, where we have to communicate everything we do and think.
The moment the pressure of obligatory appears, we feel a little harassed. Because those who do not respect a time of privacy and even disconnection, do not understand the true value of friendship.
There are people who, whether for personal or work reasons, stay away for months or even years, however, when they get together again, the magic of complicity that so warms our hearts continues to exist. It is as if time has not passed, because the feeling remains the same.
Has this ever happened to you?
Own spaces, common spaces
We could say that the basic problem is that many people do not adequately control their loneliness, their emotions, or respect personal spaces.
We all have or have had those friendships that need to be in constant contact to share a thought, a fear, an anxiety… And, in fact, we used to give everything we had to meet them.
Little by little, we came to understand that this person had little ability to control his own problems, to the point of projecting his fears and negativity onto others.
And, without a doubt, we give everything for them, but with a limit: that they respect our personal spaces, our identity and our emotional balance.
After all, people have no reason to live with the rocks that others find in their own way, because to do that, to join these problems with ours, will make it very difficult to move forward.
