I’m Trying To Be Better, But I Still Have The Right To Fail
When we embark on any personal growth task, we need to know that everything is a process. Changes will not happen overnight. To get results, we need to be persistent and disciplined. Still, we hope that our loved ones will rejoice in our decision and support us along the way. Therefore, we can be angry and disappointed when these people take advantage of any setback to belittle our efforts. What happens is that some people seem to forget that even if you are trying to be better, you still have the right to fail.
Therefore, it is essential to be aware that the our well-being should be the main driver of change. If we wait for approval, recognition, and support from outside, we will likely give up before reaching our goals. We need to change for ourselves and for ourselves, becoming our own coaches and cheerleaders. However, why might others want to stop us? How can we handle this?
When do people forget their right to fail?
It is likely that you have already gone through different moments that reflect this situation throughout your life, right? For example, when you tell your relatives that you are trying to eat healthier and they respond in an ironic, careless way. It doesn’t matter if you’ve reached your goal for an entire week, they focus on that particular meal or time to lessen your effort.
The same can happen when you decide to face a fear. Perhaps you are trying to deal with your phobia of driving and are taking different little commutes every day. But even so, you ask your partner to drive at some point because you don’t feel ready for it. It is possible that, on the basis of this isolated fact, they will try to destroy your progress.
These reactions can show up even when you are trying to improve communication in a relationship. You may have suggested that the other person start a joint effort to improve communication. Thereafter, although she hasn’t changed anything, the moment you lose your composure and fall back on old communication patterns, she may take the opportunity to reprimand you.
“Aren’t you supposed to eat healthily?” , “Didn’t you say you got over the fear of driving?” , “Wow, look, wouldn’t I be more understanding?” All these questions and statements are, at bottom, a reproach. They were not designed to support and encourage us to continue, quite the opposite. But why does this happen?
Why does it happen?
First, you need to know that these types of situations are frequent. On the other hand, these types of reactions say more about who is talking than about who is receiving them. A person with a healthy emotional balance, who feels comfortable with themselves and who has even gone through their own personal development process, would not try to disrupt the process of others.
It is important to emphasize that change is not always welcomed by those around us, even when it is for our own benefit. This happens because, when we change, we force a change in the dynamics that exist in our relationships with others. If a dependent person ceases to be like that, the other person loses his position of superiority. If we decide to communicate in a respectful way, we end up not collaborating with the conflict. So if others are unwilling to change, our efforts to improve can be unpleasant for them.
Value your process
Our task, then, is to stand firm in the face of these fearful relationships. It consists in not falling into the error of ending up denying ourselves our right to fail.
If you really want to make some inner change, you must respect your process and find your rhythm. You don’t have to be perfect, much less in the beginning. It’s okay to rest on the way, deviate a bit and even backtrack. Growth is not linear and we are not always willing to make the necessary effort.
A fall is not a relapse, an error does not indicate the end of the road or the failure of the plan. Value your process, your effort, and remember that you are indeed trying to be better, but you still have the right to fail.
