It’s Better To Keep Certain Doors Closed Forever
What do you think? That of not leaving a relationship at once and remaining in the indecisiveness of time? Don’t leave it at first, but leave it slowly. Do not close doors completely, keep them open. Something like that, leaving a wound half open and doing nothing to heal it. Closing the doors at once means knowing clearly the decision to make, and that is not easy. But, above all, it implies not increasing the time of suffering.
It means having courage and accepting the consequences that will come as soon as you make the decision. Sometimes we don’t make the decision because we’re not fully aware of the damage we’ve suffered in a relationship. Or we don’t take it because we’re not very aware of the emotional dependency that binds us to our partner. Because of everything.
Emotional dependence drags our self-love with its current. She can do anything. It’s like a tsunami that has a brute and powerful force. It destroys absolutely everything it passes through, even the pillars that support a house… like our own “house”.
Emotional dependence binds us to what makes us bad
Our own house should always be built on solid pillars. Pillars of self-respect, self-love and care. If we don’t have these pillars at home, let’s look in the street. We will then be sold to anyone who shows us a little love. Something like “I love you more than myself”. A beautiful phrase for a song, but heartbreaking for any heart.
Emotional dependence and a lack of love for ourselves are the chains we live with that keep us from moving freely. They blind us and turn us into a puppet of self-deception.
Loving the other is something beautiful, but we can never lose the love we should feel for ourselves. Love for another person can never justify being stepped on. For this we need to impose limits that protect us from harm. And by love for ourselves I am not referring to a narcissistic love in which one sees nothing but oneself. I’m talking about healthy limits, which make us run away from what causes us harm.
Denial is the mechanism that helps us continue in a bad relationship.
Often the defense mechanism behind this behavior of letting go, prolonging the termination, or simply ignoring verbalization is denial. I cover my eyes. I don’t see what’s in front of me. I make up a thousand and one excuses for not seeing reality and not making a final decision.
You probably know people who used denial to avoid having to take the consequences of a breakup. Being alone, moving through the grief that comes when you leave someone you love, assuming that love doesn’t justify everything… these are unavoidable consequences that we need to live with.
There are people who, for not accepting the reality of self-love, remain in complicated relationships that destroy their peace of mind. They keep the damage instead of being alone and closing the door on this relationship that hurts them so much. Once again the tsunami comes and destroys them. We become puppets guided by dependence and denial.
Close the doors of everything that hurts you
Therefore, there are relationships that are best left at once. Close the door without leaving it open, whether for weeks, months or even years. Keeping it ajar also maintains emotional dependency and our blindness. Close it without fear. (And if you are afraid, share this situation with the people you love, or if you need therapy… do it!)
The learning that you will gain once you make this decision will be immense and will serve for all the difficult times you will face since then. That way, the pillars of your life will be strengthened with this new move you will make.
I wish all the people who find themselves with these doors half open and who, deep down, know that this is one of the best decisions they can make. And as Saint Augustine said: “Happiness consists in accepting with joy what life gives us and releasing with the same joy what life takes from us”.
