It’s Okay To Feel Bad

Sometimes we blame ourselves for feeling deep anguish; we don’t realize that, in some situations, it’s normal to feel bad.

Have you ever wondered what’s behind certain expressions like: “You look ugly when you cry,” “Man doesn’t cry”, “Cheer up, stop crying”? These are seemingly innocent phrases that are harmful, that censor as much as macabre instruments of torture.

Somehow they are telling us that there is something very wrong with the way we feel, that we shouldn’t feel that way. That we shouldn’t feel sad after a loss, anger and anger after a betrayal. But it will be? Shouldn’t we really feel that way?

Why is it normal to feel bad?

We all go through good times and bad times. This is part of our nature; the alternation is a consequence of the dynamism of the circumstances we go through. At first, there is nothing wrong with mood swings, contrary to what certain cultures might indicate.

Thus, on many occasions we can feel bad, not only because of a loss or betrayal, but also because of the impotence of not being able to quickly get out of that mood. That’s when we direct all our anger at ourselves, deepening the wound, making the cut even more painful.

In fact, it’s normal to feel bad when:

• We want to express what we feel and cannot.
• Someone wants to communicate what they feel and cannot.
• Something unpleasant happens to us.
• Something happens to someone close to us.

• We feel unmotivated.

These are just some examples. In reality, the important thing about emotions is accepting and listening to them. When we understand them as messengers and not as the cause of bad news, everything flows better.

far beyond suffering

When we change perspective and see that feeling bad is a great window into learning, the intensity of suffering diminishes. This is not to say that we automatically feel good. However, we move away from suffering. Let us remember that suffering can be, at least to a large extent, optional.

So we can take the opportunity to make resilience one of our greatest strengths. That is, we can overcome the malaise, finding a meaning for it in our lives and learning from each experience.

What to do when you feel bad?

There are several options. We can start by taking a journey into the depths of our being. Self-knowledge is a powerful key that allows us to know who we are and where we want to go.

Another alternative is to identify how we are emotionally, and after doing that, start setting goals to be more assertive in choosing our coping strategies.

For example, if you know that you are irritated by a mistake, you can start working on it now: you can express this irritation in a more controlled way, and you can also make it not reach very high levels.

You can also ask for help. A professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can be a great support. We all may need support, and these professionals are not only good for when we are feeling bad, but they also guide us to enhance the best of ourselves.

Another option is to do activities that help lift your mood. Some examples are the practice of physical exercises, painting, dancing, going out with friends, etc.

The important thing is to find a meaning for the trajectory we draw in time. Thus, we will begin to say goodbye to suffering. That’s what Viktor Frankl talks about in his book The Man in Search of Meaning , a thrilling and wonderful account of his life experience.

In short, it’s okay to feel bad when we’re at that point along with emotional acceptance. When we leave a space for emotions to catch air and for them to communicate their message to us. Afterwards, they will have nothing more to say, but they will leave us their energy for reflection and action before they leave.