Mothers And Daughters: The Bond That Heals, The Bond That Hurts

Each daughter takes her mother with her. It is an eternal bond from which we can never let go. Because if anything should be clear, it’s that we will always have something from our mother.

In order to be healthy and happy, each of us must know how our mother has influenced our history and how she continues to do so. She is the one who, before we were born, offered our first experience of care and support. And it is through her that we understand what it is to be a woman and how we can take care of or neglect our bodies.

The legacy we inherit from our mothers

Any woman, whether or not she is a mother, takes with her the consequences of the relationship she had with her mother. If she conveyed positive messages about her female body and the way we should work and care for it, her teachings will always be part of a guide to physical and emotional health.

However, a mother’s influence can also be problematic when the role played is toxic, due to a neglected, jealous, blackmailing, or controlling attitude.

When we are able to understand the effects that creation has had on us, we begin to understand ourselves, to heal ourselves, and to be able to assimilate what we think of our bodies or explore what we consider possible to achieve in life.

Maternal care, an essential nutrient for life

When a TV camera films someone in the audience at a sporting event or any other event… What do people usually scream? “Hi Mom!”

Most of us have a need to be seen by our mothers, we seek their approval. In origin, this dependence obeys to biological issues, as we need them to survive for many years; however, the need for affection and approval is forged from the very first minute, as we look to our mother to know if we are doing something right or if we are worthy of a caress.

As Northrup points out,  the mother-daughter bond is strategically designed to be one of the most positive, understanding, and intimate relationships we will ever have.  However, it doesn’t always happen that way…

Over the years, this need for approval can become pathological, generating emotional obligations that allow our mother to have power over our well-being for most of our lives.

 How to start growing up as a woman and a daughter?

The decision to grow up involves cleaning up emotional wounds or any issues that haven’t been resolved in the first half of our lives. This transition is not an easy task, as we first have to detect which parts of the maternal relationship require solution and healing.

On this depends our sense of present and future worth. This is because there is always a part of us that thinks we must give too much to our family or our partner to be deserving of love.

Motherhood and even the love of a woman continue to be cultural synonyms in the collective mind. This assumes that our needs are always relegated to the fulfillment or not of those of others. As a result, we are not dedicated to cultivating our woman’s mind, but to molding it to the taste of the society in which we live.

The world’s expectations of us can be very cruel. In fact, I would say that they are a real poison that forces us to forget our individuality.

Source consulted: Mothers and Daughters of Christiane Northrup