The Two Faces Of Conformism
In life, on many occasions “we conform”
John had a job he didn’t like at all, a wife he avoided seeing, and very little hope for the future. He thought that he was already old and that the life he was living in, however unpleasant and unhappy, protected him from the risks he might be exposed to if he were to try to change it.
Pedro had been in a car accident two months ago, his spine had been damaged, and the doctors had given him very little hope of walking again. In the beginning, he put all his efforts into it, but seeing that the improvement was not constant, he became discouraged. She had two very bad months, little by little she was taking refuge at home and losing social contact. One day, while shopping, he had a conversation with another man in a wheelchair. They quickly became friends and started going out together, and they even signed up for an association that organized events specially designed for people who couldn’t walk.
Joseph was furious because they gave the promotion he had been waiting for several years to someone else. The anger lasted for several days and only began to pass when his wife took him by the hand and told him: “This moment will not come back, nor will the decision be changed. However, you can change what happens today, tomorrow and after…”
Somehow all these stories talk about conformism, what we can change and what we must assume, because it’s already past.
Conformism is an attitude towards life, which if chosen from reflection, can bring us a lot of satisfaction, as it allows us to accept and enjoy what happens in our daily lives and prevents us from living in constant regret of what we cannot change . On the other hand, there is a risk that conformism is a limitation in our lives, as we can accommodate and resign ourselves to what we can change and what we are not satisfied with.
Are you a conformist? We often confuse “As I am” with “How I behave”. That is, that I conform often does not mean I am, it is simply an attitude I often choose, but it does not mean I am a conformist. However, if this is my most frequent attitude, it’s worth noting how I feel when I act like this.
On some occasions, we feel good, as we choose to “conform”, accepting and enjoying reality. It’s time to adapt and adjust to the present moment. However, on other occasions, this attitude makes us suffer, by giving up our own interests, by blocking, limiting and paralyzing us on the path we wanted to take.
I decide…
It would be convenient to understand what often leads us to conformism, and find out if it is fear, relaxation, cowardice, conflict avoidance or resignation, because only by discovering can we overcome it. The feelings it carries and the circumstances surrounding it define its nature: a help or a poison. A help for Joseph and a poison for John.
When we overcome fears or resignation, and admit the possibility of having something better than we have, there will no longer be any reason for harmful conformity. So, it will be time to reflect, and say if it’s worth moving forward, “without conforming”, looking for more paths, more options, more opportunities… Since nothing limits us.
And only when I decide and feel good about it, “I will conform”, because this will allow me to enjoy and accept reality, adapting better to life at all stages.
Photo courtesy of Anton Zabielskyi
