What Is Hidden Behind The Silence?

What is hidden behind the silence? Confusions, truths, word games, illusions, dreams, lies, secrets, worries, fears, excuses, imagination or maybe… nothing important.

Everything our mind is capable of thinking and not saying is what we keep silent.

Let’s remember that we have approximately 70,000 thoughts a day, and that among all this mass of information we select those that are most relevant to us.

It is this incredible capacity of our memory that makes us create great stories, and what makes us vulnerable as well.

silence and thoughts

When we think, most of the time we find ourselves in silence, although internally we don’t have a continuous noise arising from our thoughts. Among them are automatic thoughts, which are those that we use to quickly interpret and explain situations in our daily lives.

These are the phrases that come from our inner voice and that give us an explanation about what happens in our surroundings, what we interpret from the actions of others and even how we are.

They are those phrases that come to mind quickly and that, on most occasions, we don’t expose to others.  We do not ask ourselves whether they are really well founded or whether, on the contrary, they are simply speculations about which we do not have enough data and which are based only on “smoke”.

It may seem like they’re less elaborate, but these thoughts come from our deepest worldview: the basic schemas.

Schemas are the beliefs and rules through which we establish our values, which we form throughout life.

They are formed with our experiences in life. They support everything we think about what we see with the education we receive.

How do we interpret the silence of others?

We are beings accustomed to explaining everything, as we do not like uncertainty, which we cannot control.

Although we are only able to see ten percent of reality , we “fill in” this void with our own explanation based on what the world “should” be like.

Thoughts such as: “If such a person is silent, it is because they are hiding something bad”, or “Whoever is silent consents” are some of the phrases we hear in our lives. If we use them constantly and without supporting data, we are very likely to be in error.

We are not mind readers, we are not even psychologists. 

We rely on data that can confirm whether what we think fits reality, or whether it’s just irrational beliefs that make us feel bad or that we blame others for their supposed intentions.

The best thing is that this person is the one to let us know what is happening to them, but always respecting their right not to want to communicate some of their thoughts. We have the right to intimacy and privacy…

If you’re the person who wants to keep silent, make sure you don’t hide information that might affect others. I mean, there are things we have to tell you, although it’s difficult because they are directly related to people we love, and those secrets could be limiting your own freedom.

If sooner or later this information is discovered by others or by life circumstances, the blow and trouble in a relationship will be much worse.

We are just interpreters of reality. From our reality. Which is not like the others.

Yes, silence can hurt a lot. But it may not hide anything important either, just imagination. And that’s infinite.